With all the extra demands and chores that Christmas brings, it can be easy to forget that the season can cause anxiety for your partner.  Be sure to take time to sit and chat with them.  Ask if there is anything particular that is causing extra stress for them and help them to work through it.

Remember that for autistic people, no matter how well they know you, or what the relationship dynamic is, they're often not keen on bringing subjects up or talking about themselves.  Doing so can sometimes make any self esteem issues they have worse.  When we are ready to speak, be sure to listen thoroughly.  You don't have to understand everything.  Just the fact that you are available, listening and acknowledging what we're are saying is enough.  We will often be feeling anxious when speaking so bear that in mind and have patience.  If you're not sure how to respond to something specific, tell them that they've raised a valid point and that you'll come back to them on it.  You can then seek out support from others / online resources.  The lived experiences of others are extremely valuable.  Of course, one person's approach to something may not work for another but the opportunity to gain information and tips based on experience is invaluable.  You never know, just that one little idea could be the golden nugget that works for you both.

When sharing information about Christmas festivities and upcoming events, be sure to give us as much notice as possible and include as much detail as you can. Detail helps us to mind-map and in doing that, we can pinpoint anything that isn't clear and ask about it. With all the extra demands and chores that Christmas brings, it can be easy to forget that the season can cause anxiety for your partner.  Be sure to take time to sit and chat with them. Ask if there is anything particular that is causing extra stress for them and help them to work through it.

Remember that life is about give and take and that's especially relevant when you live with other people.  Of course, if somebody you care about is going to be made to feel unwell as a result of having to give up certain things they do each day or endure situations specifically related to Christmas, you'll probably feel just as bad about it as they will.  

That said, if you're in a relationship, with an autistic person, you deserve to have fun as well.  We all need to relax and living with an autistic person can be challenging at times. We even recognise this ourselves!

Spend some time thinking about what events and social gatherings you have lined up over the festive season. When chatting with us about them, remember to build in at least one free day between events.  Also think about whether you do both actually need to be there.  Are any of the events ones where you can represent both of you, allowing the autistic person to stay home?  Can any of the people you may be visiting come to your house instead so we can still have an element of 'comfort zone' around us?

Pre-prepare a list of events that can be pinned up somewhere visible and have it to hand when chatting with us.  Any conversation about anything that's not part of our usual daily routines will be a difficult listen for us so if in closing, you can just show the list and discuss where best to place it, it will save us from feeling like we have to remember everything that was just said.

If you can, try and keep an area of your house Christmas-free with no decorations or festive reminders.  That way, it can be used as a peaceful, plain, ordinary space for us to retreat to when we need some quiet time.