If you live with an autistic partner, it often works much better if you can take control of incoming invitations and remind the hosts of any needs your partner has in relation to social occasions.  Remember that they'll need as much detail as possible - what, where, who, when etc. 

Always make sure to leave at least one free day between events to give your partner time to recoup and remember that generally, it's really not a good idea to have more than one thing happening on the same day.

If you have family and/or friends coming to your home, make sure that you help your partner to organise a quiet space they can retreat to for a period of time or for short bursts of time, to recharge their batteries.

If you're going to someone else’s house, insofar as you can, try and set a reasonable time to leave in advance. It can be difficult when things are left open-ended as people will often try and cajoule you into staying longer so set those boundaries from the outset. Doing this will give your partner the information they need to help them fully process what's happening.

If your partner is becoming overwhelmed at someone else's place, be sure to ask if there is a quiet space they can use away from any activity.  They may not feel comfortable asking for this themselves.

Remember that sometimes, your partner may need you to advocate for them either when they don't feel they can self-advocate or they have tried and feel like it hasn't worked.   Christmas can be a notorious time for family arguments and disagreements and we can sometimes feel like we are the cause of these with our varying needs and sometimes anxious demeanours.  It doesn’t help if our partners or families try to coax us into doing things we don’t enjoy just because they have jumped further into the Christmas ‘spirit’ than we can.  You need to be able to side with us and speak up for us if we're struggling which after all, is something one should be able to count on from a partner.

Try and share the load.  As well as things that you'll both go to together, maybe there are some events that you could go along to on your own? That way, you get to enjoy them and your partner gets some respite.

Your partner could become quite stressed about any work event that's organised.  There is often huge expectation to attend these on the part of colleagues and managers so make sure you listen to your partner's concerns and remind them that attendance isn't compulsory.

If you have family and/or friends coming to your home, make sure that you help your partner to organise a quiet space they can retreat to for a period of time or for short bursts of time, to recharge their batteries.

If your partner enjoys socialising and attending parties and functions then you've both got plenty to look forward to at this time of year.  However, it's always worth remembering that your partner will still have the same limitations as they usually have and will still need to be mindful of their sensory capacity.  

When you are heading out together, remember to :

Keep an unobtrusive eye on how your partner is coping, especially if they're consuming alcohol.  

Be aware of the signs that indicate that your partner is either not coping or is nearing capacity.

Make sure you remember to take any food your partner might want (as they may be too anxious to remember this themselves).

Organise return transport berfore the event if neither of you are driving.  Taxis get booked up quickly at this time of year.  

Help you partner to suss out any areas where they can take a break from the busyness as soon after you arrive as possible.  Anywhere they can escape the full-on environment even for a short time, can provide welcome relief for when the noise, people, lights, etc get too much.

Make sure that your partner got their ear buds / noise cancelling headphones / flare calmers wih them.

Advocate for your partner if and when needed.  Agree in advance whether, if your partner wants to leave sooner than you do, will you see them safely into their car or a taxi and stay on or will you leave with them?

Some autistic people do not have supportive families or may have one familiar member who is particularly dismissive.  This can cause huge amounts of stress especially at a time when families are 'supposed' to be together.

Whatever the family dynamic, don't forget to consider the importance of this to your partner and if necessary, talk to family members about their needs.

If your partner doesn't like to be hugged and you're there hugging everyone you haven't seen for ages, don't become dismissive of your partner's needs just because everyone else is doing 'the done thing'.  Just because others may roll their eyes, don't forget that you're also an advocate for your partner  Just because some of us express ourselves in different ways, doesn't mean these ways are wrong.

If your partner is affected by ARFID (Avoidant and Restrictive Food Intake Disorder) or any of it's sub conditions, make sure to bring food with you that you know they can eat.